Thursday, January 10, 2008

Thanks For Your Opinion, John.

I don't recall giving you my email address or asking for your advice on the upcoming Democratic primary, but since we're apparently on a first name basis, Mr. Kerry, I'll let it slide this time. You were probably confused by the Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker on my car. If I may be frank, it's not so much an endorsement of you per se as it is an indication to suicidal tailgaters that whatever pushed them over the edge, it's not my fault. Iraq? Bumper sticker. FEMA? Bumper sticker. Wiretapping? Bumper sticker. Supreme Court? Bumper sticker. Not. My. Fault. Please to be crashing into a Republican, yes?

I wasn't going to say anything, but now I think I have to. It's not that you're a bad guy, John, I just think there must be someone more qualified than you on the subject of beating the Republicans. Look, it could be worse. As colossal fuckups go, you weren't as bad as Michael Dukakis or, at the risk of tasting bile for the rest of the afternoon, Ralph Nader. Still, just between you and me, John, "not as bad as Dukakis" isn't exactly a ringing endorsement of your political genius. You may want to consider the "buttoning your piehole" option the next time you think I need your political advice.

Tell you what, how about if you get back to me after you've done something more impressive than losing an election to the most hated man in America, 'kay?

5 comments:

vikkitikkitavi said...

I looked up "horse's ass" in the dictionary, and there was a picture of Kerry!

Natalie said...

I always find it interesting to see who random people who have ceased to be incredibly relevant want to support. Does it change my opinion? Not so much.

Dr.evil said...

He could do worse by running for president again. Only this time, running as a Republican.....

Or his running mate would be Ralph Nader......

Writeprocrastinator said...

To stab his own running mate in the back at a time like this? He let down everybody that bothered to defend him from those Shitboat Veterans.

Hot Lemon said...

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