Speed Recap

Last Week
Really, Top Chef? The Diet Dr. Pepper Quickfire Challenge? Is it time for me to renew my call for eliminating all of the stupid corporate naming rights in exchange for making the chefs wear ASSCAR-inspired, logo-covered chef's whites? I still don't get what the name had to do with the challenge. Did Jersey Girl actually use Diet Dr. Pepper in her dish or was she kidding?

Speaking of challenges, did anyone else think this wasn't a challenge at all? Make a sweet treat without sugar. Wow. Way to show your chops. No kidding, fruit is sweet? Thanks, Alton. That said, I'm a little bit astonished that Stretch thought she could get those bananas to freeze during the challenge without the use of liquid nitrogen.

So Chutney won immunity, which turned out to be very good for her.

They follow up the weak Quickfire challenge with a weak elimination challenge. The producers brainstorm, shrug, and phone it in. The chefs have plenty of cash and can make whatever they want.

Fabio failed to see anything funny in bitching about Starbuck's scallops while making ravioli, but I'm guessing he's the only one.

They finally did a blind judging, which was good, but they let the judges cook whatever they want and they did it so late in the season that it was probably obvious who made most of the dishes. Mini-Radicchio may have been the only one in the dark, and he didn't know the contestants anyway, which made the exercise just a teensy bit pointless.

I thought the new judge was Radicchio's Mini-Me because he seemed to be suffering from a savage case of Tiny Man Syndrome. This week, however, I saw them walking around together and he appears to be life-sized. Hunh. He's overcompensating for something; I just assumed it was being a little bald man.

Mini-Radicchio tries hard, but he's all set-up and no punchline. His comments aren't nearly as entertaining as he thinks, but least we can go grab a snack without missing anything important while he's slowly wandering toward the pay-off. What's that? No, I have no comment on the state of the kettle, why do you ask?

In the end, Top Dishwasher and the Mouse go home, Stretch escapes elimination, and Starbuck is finally Top Scallop, bitches!

(administrivia)With a little luck, I'll get another recap up before Wednesday night and I'll be all caught up.(/administrivia)