Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Obama And Cheney In Battle For Moral Low Ground

Attorney General Eric Holder says that this administration has made it clear from day one that it will not condone torture. Hope! Change! Hurrah! As it happens, Obama is so opposed to torture that he's already promised not to prosecute the torturers. Those of us with dictionaries will, at this point, be excused for our difficulty in reconciling Holder's comments with Obama's actions.

The torturers were, Obama reasons, just following orders, so the man has a point. Ever since Colin Powell whitewashed the Mai Lai Massacre, only foreigners are guilty when they follow orders. Americans are free to rape, murder, and mutilate civilians, as long as they get permission first.

Obama told the torturers that they should not "...be discouraged that we have to acknowledge that potentially we've made some mistakes." Potentially. He's not going to commit to calling the torture of prisoners a mistake. Let's not go crazy with the whole not condoning torture thing. The torturers have got his full support and we're going to move on. They should be proud to be members of an organization that... um... sanctions and carries out torture of prisoners, so buck up, lil torturers!

Because that's how we learn, people. We torture prisoners. And then we move on. Proudly.

Meanwhile, Cheney, speaking from his retirement home in suburban Mordor, says that what he finds disturbing about the release of the torture memos is that we didn't get to hear the success stories. Is anyone surprised that he doesn't find the actual torture disturbing? Anyone?

4 comments:

Coaster Punchman said...

Well Deadspot, it IS easier to ask for forgiveness rather than get permission first!

And no, I'm not surprised that Cheney isn't disturbed by thumbscrews and the like. His face always looks like he's wearing them.

Johnny Yen said...

All that considered, does the fact that they tortured, er, excuse me, waterboarded those two guys for a total of over 200 some times and still didn't get any useful information from the stand alone as an argument against torture?

It's going to take us years to unscrew what those fuckers screwed up.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Defining your argument about torture by the effectiveness of said torture? UR doin it rong.

Flannery Alden said...

Hey, Deadspot, I'm coming to Chicago soon...