Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Flan Pressed

Up, up and away,
in my beautiful balloon.
So glad Hung's knifeless.

Frying Pan River?
You've Got To Be Kidding Me.
Who Named This Shit, Dude?

Trout cooked on a stump
is not seafood, says Brian.
Really? Are you sure?

Hung is done so fast.
Did his monkey bring lemon?
'Cause Hung sure didn't.

Hung Don't Know Cowboys
Like The Mohawk Knows Cowboys.
It's A Rodeo!

Yippie kai yi yay!
Them cowboys love some baked beans.
Thus sayeth the Hung.

Mohawk's cheese tart sucks.
Today, pressure is his friend.
Cauli-tatoes rock.

Cooking's for sissies.
Cowboys are like cavemen, right?
Casey serves raw elk.

Dublyuh tee eff?
Brian wears a cowboy hat.
No one is impressed.

Judges' Table Time:
Three Go To The Finals. One?
Pack Your Knives and Go.

Condescending Hung,
Mohawk kicked your ass real good.
Taste the justice, dick.

The judges have seen
Enough of frat boy antics.
Brian is sent home.


Flannery Alden said...

I have know idea what you're talking about, but you said it beautifully. Very zen for me.

Johnny Yen said...

I actually watched this episode. Hung is probably the best cook technically, but his insistence on being a dick is holding him back.

I'm pulling for my hometown boy, but have a feeling Hung might still win.

vikkitikkitavi said...

I can't believe Casey screwed the pooch. That's what I get for becoming emotionally invested in a reality show, I guess.

BeckEye said...

"Taste the justice, dick"

That's my favorite line of any haiku, ever.

It might be my favorite line, period. I have to start using it. I'll just have to make sure not to reverse the last two words.

Writeprocrastinator said...

This is your third best "Top Chef" post, though I give it a ten, for difficulty. Just four good belly laughs, though.

Natalie said...

Excellent Top chef post. It really took me back to my couch.

deadspot said...

I can do that all the time, Flan. You should see me without haiku.

I don't care how technically skilled he is, I wouldn't hire Hung to work for me. There isn't enough insurance in the world to protect you from that little spaz. He needs to chill the hell out and figure out the difference between being badass and just being an asshole.

Even with the season over, I still don't know what to think about Casey. On the one hand, she turned out some good wins late in the competition when everyone should have been on their A games. On the other hand, she can't cut up a damn onion.

Rude haiku: just one of the many services offered here at the Dead Spot, Becks.

You seem to have put more thought into this than I have, WP. If this is number 3, and last week was number 1, which one is number 2? And if man if five, and the devil is six... but I digress.

Thanks, Natalie. When you said "back to my couch", you didn't really mean "away from my computer" did you?