Friday, October 26, 2007

Welcome to the New Future, Just Like the Old Future

So, here I am in Chicago, home on the late 90s, when people still thought “charging people for wireless acess” was a business plan instead of a way to look like a cheapskate. On the plus side, I have my iBook back in rehab. Apparently, someone believes that I will be so happy to find a row of outlets that I will buy insurance from them. I remain skeptical.

By the time you read this, it will already be the future. Do we have rocket cars yet? Are the robot overlords reasonably benevolent?

Here in the past, we compose our blog posts into an application called AppleWorks, and wait to make them available when communication with the present has been re-established. It is so primitive here in the past that Starbucks has not yet accomplished their goal of a barista at every gate. They have to get by on a measly five outposts between my arrival gate and my departure gate.

I started reading Lamb on the flight here. I was using this morning’s shopping list (“Water, Ricola, Books, Altoids.” See what a considerate traveller I am? I will not cough on you or engage in tedious conversation, and I’m always minty fresh. Go thou and do likewise.) as a bookmark, and as we were about to take off, I noticed the Far Side comic on the back of the list. In it, an airline passenger is about to accidentally hit the “Wings Fall Off” button on the arm of his seat. Is that really the best that you can do, fates? That’s some weak sauce.

On cue, the overhead speakers in the airport tell me that the threat level is Orange. I should secure my baggage and rat out my fellow travellers to the nearest available secuirty officer for appropriate disposal.

Do we really make it to the future? Let me know when I get there.


Dale said...

In the future, will you have finished Lamb? I loved that book.

deadspot said...

Not just in the future, in the present, too. Christopher Moore is, as Lex would say, a beast. It's a great book.