Friday, September 19, 2008

I Heard The News Today, Oh Shit.

"The government will spend billions of dollars to buy up bad loans from financial institutions so that they can begin making new loans."

The newscaster said it. He just didn't seem to understand that it was a bad idea.

I had a long post full of piss and vinegar, but not so much of the funny, so I deleted it. Instead you get this, also short on funny, but now with 73% less vitriol.

I just want a couple of things from this bailout deal.

1. I want heads to roll.

A plan which puts the same idiots who got us into this mess in charge of getting us out of this mess is a plan which has not been well thought out. Any financial institution that takes government bailout money should have to fire their upper management and the people who get canned should be done with their careers in this field. Maybe a job in the food service industry is more suited to their talents.

2. I did not make foolish decisions. I am not happy to be paying for people who did. I'd really prefer not to pay my mortgage and theirs.

At the very least, the government should only be left holding the bag for one loan per person. If you thought you were a real estate genius and took out a bunch of bad loans, you should be screwed, moron.

3. Instead of temporarily banning short selling, how about temporarily removing the protection for personal assets given by incorporation?

Run your business into the ground, lose your mansion. Seems fair to me. In fact, it seems a little bit like poetic justice. Perhaps a little incentive not to screw over the whole economy is in order, yes?

4. I blame HGTV.

It may be because I'm in the middle of a kitchen renovation which has taken considerably longer than half an hour, but I'd like to see HGTV take all of their stupid House Flipping Realty Envy shows off the air. They were still trying to lure people into buying real estate as a get rich quick scheme when it was clear to a chimp (No offense, Dr. von Monkerstein) that the bubble had burst. What dicks.

I'd also like to see each show's last episode be an hour long special where the cast and crew get repeatedly kicked in the junk by people who lost their homes to foreclosure, but that seems like the sort of thing that would be tough to legislate.

5. Arrrr!

Keelhaul the scurvy dogs.

1 comment:

Johnny Yen said...

Regarding #5, Happy "Talk Like A Pirate Day!"

I'm getting a sense of Deja Vu. Remember the Savings and Loan meltdown in the eighties? It had a similar price tag-- a half trillion. Same causes-- lack of regulation.

Remember the McMansion that went up next door to my place? It was originally on the market for $1.6 Million. The developer/contractor finally took it off the market and moved in himself.