Friday, July 6, 2007

My Life In The Bush Of Geeks

There's a story I've told many times about high school. My friend John and I were walking down the hallway, and we spotted a poster advertising class rings...

If I may digress, were class rings were the same at other high schools? At mine they were either punctuation for the end of your academic career or a sort of expensive pet tag. At least, I seem to recall only seeing them on the hand of some meathead or dangling around the neck of his girlfriend. I dunno. Maybe it's a small town thing. Anyway, back to the story.

Where was I? John, me, hallway, poster. Right. So, the poster was basically just a huge picture of a class ring with the words "These are the best years of your life!" John and I both stopped walking, stunned, the same horrified thought running through our minds. We looked at each other. He was the first to put it into words.

"Oh my god, you mean it's all downhill from here?"

Now, I've told this story many times, because we can all relate, right? I mean, the thought of high school being the best time of your life is just so patently absurd, and he nailed it perfectly. It's a very funny story.

However, the last time I told it, something bizarre happened. I got to the bit about the poster saying "These are the best years of your life!" and the (otherwise perfectly normal) person I was telling, thinking that was the point of the story, enthusiastically interrupted, "Yeah! Weren't they?"

I was stunned. I was just a little sad for her. I think I kept it off my face, but I just couldn't bear to finish the story.


vikkitikkitavi said...

Thank Christ I haven't yet succumbed to the temptation to romanticize my high school years. They were fucking miserable.

What I didn't appreciate, though, was how good I had it not to have to fucking work 50 hours a week.

Johnny Yen said...

The second half of high school was a lot of fun; I'd had the realization that I just didn't give a shit what anyone thought about me, and did what I wanted. Ironically, I became pretty popular.

I keep in touch with nobody from high school though. My best times, as Deadspot can attest (he was a co-conspirator) were in college.

BeckEye said...

Was she still wearing her school ring around her neck?

I agree with was where it was at.

Coaster Punchman said...

I third the sentiment about college. Also, like Johnny Yen, the end of my high school was much better than the start. But what on earth was with those ugly class rings?

Anonymous said...

You know, I think that happened to me once-- I found myself standing there, my mouth fish-gulping as I searched for something to say.

I DID have a class ring, though. It had a smooth onyx stone in it.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Let's see, I had...

No license.
No car (some, were willing to drive without a license).
I wouldn't lose my virginity until almost a year after a graduated.
No love, every relation was of convenience for all both parties involved.
Every friendship was likewise, of convenience of all the parties involved.
I was one of thirty people in the school's populace that had a permanent tan, and was reminded so almost daily, in a less than desirable manner.

All of these things affected my grades and if that didn't, I got high every chance I could to dull the pain.

If these were the best years of my life, I would've ended my life along time ago.

Someone in my graduating class did, about a month before graduation and though he had a much better high school life than I did on the surface, I could empathize all too well as to why he chose to eat a bullet.

Dale said...

I hated high school except for about 20 minutes of it but sadly, I know the girl you mentioned and many of her clones.

deadspot said...

Given the option, I would prefer a life of leisure, Vikki. How do we get one of those?

How did that work, Johnny? Not giving a shit confused people, but it didn't make me popular.

I had absolutely no warning, Becks. She seemed like a perfectly normal human being until the crazy leaked out. Did I mention that she has adult children? They must be so proud that they come in second place to her time in high school...

College was indeed where it was at. I still have no idea how so many cool people ended up at Eastern. I suspect it was a fluke. I really don't think it's still like that. The weird liberal enclave started vanishing soon after my class graduated.

I know what you mean WP... Here's the bit of the story that I don't usually tell: unfortunately for John, it was pretty much all downhill from there. His dad squandered his college money because he suddenly decided John didn't really need to go to college after all, John started stealing from his friends, and he ended up hanging himself in the county jail a few years later when he got arrested over a series of petty check kiting offenses. Irony is a fickle mistress.

20 consecutive minutes, Dale?

Natalie said...

I enjoyed high school but I enjoyed college a lot more. So far I would have to say those were some of the best years. Maybe it will get better though.

deadspot said...

I was not such a big fan of high school, but I thoroughly enjoyed college.

Speaking of college, I can't believe that Doc beat me to Boney M, Natalie. I had that song on one of my favorite mix tapes in college. I obviously need to stay on top of my blog reading.

Writeprocrastinator said...

I'm sorry to hear about John, I've always had bright shining examples of how to screw up, right in front of me. So I've always benefitted by learning from other people's mistakes.