Monday, July 30, 2007

Things I Learned From Sitemaster

In lieu of content:
some random crap that I found.
Damn. Still the haiku?

...

Someone from TIAA-CRAP was searching for "deadspot blog" on google. It appears that I was not the droid they were looking for. Oi! Get back to work and make me some money, you lazy bastard!

I'm the number 2 hit on google for "named after the dan ryan". Who knew?

I'm on the first page of hits for Corinne Bohrer.
...and someone in Canada wants to know if she's married. Good question, Dale. I should probably know that, seeing as I adopted her and all. Apropos of nothing, have I mentioned that she is way hot? ...On google, I mean. You would not believe how many hits I'm getting from people looking for her. It's like, I dunno, five or six percent of my traffic. That's actually a little depressing now that I think of it.

Hey, people are googling Caffe Paradiso in Urbana. Yeah, I've been spelling it wrong. I don't think I'll stop. Also, there is a Paradiso Cafe in Urbana, Ohio. They seem to be roughly equally popular, and roughly equally nonexistent on the web, even when correctly spelled.

If you aren't looking for Corinne, and you aren't looking for paradise and coffee in one of the nation's Urbanas, then you are probably looking for Kennywood deaths. Weird, eh? Still, that seems to be the next most likely search to land you here. Is there something about Kennywood I should know?

If you search for "the unbearable lightness of beans", it doesn't take you to my post on The Unknowable Complexity of Beans and Franks, or to my post on the Ubearable Lightness of Spam but to my Death is Not an Option post. Odd.

Someone looked for " "tom baker" who cold sore ", and thanks to Vikki, they found me. (and... ewwwwww!)

Someone from Malaysia found me from the Blogger navbar, and instead of fleeing in abject terror (almost all of those blogger navbar visits are 1 page, 0 second visits) spent 91 seconds, and during that time they looked at 5 pages. I should post about Malaysia more.

Awwww... Some of you missed me. Some of my regular readers were stopping by even though I was on vacation. I'll try not to let it go to my head.

Finally, one of the google hits actually was someone looking for me on Google. They looked for "blog dead spot" and stayed for 4 minutes. Yay!

7 comments:

Writeprocrastinator said...

I can't go more than four days without my Spot-fix...or is it Fixed-spot? Hmmm...

vikkitikkitavi said...

If I started looking at all that shit, I could never stop, so I don't.

Dale said...

You're so meta right now Deadspot.

BeckEye said...

I was the #5 Google search hit for "Time Warner sucks." Ha ha! Those cable bastards.

Johnny Yen said...

Wait, you were gone...?

Most of my directed hits come from people looking for the lyrics to "Lust For Life," and are things like "Johnny yen song" or "Here comes johnny song." And of course, they do not get directed to the post I made for them specifically and tagged for that reason. You know, ya try to help people out, and whattya get?

Flannery Alden said...

Most of my hits are for "prone movies"...I don't even want to know.

I am guilty of checking in when you were gone on the off chance you'd find yourself online.

deadspot said...

I cheated... I try not to obsess about this stuff, but I knew I was going to be hammered with work when I got back, so I wrote 90% of this post before I left. The traffic here is so light here on this little interweb cul de sac that things hadn't changed much when I got back.

No cheese for you, Johnny Yen!