Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Steriphene II: A Review

We have a new air freshener in the restrooms here at work and someone used it before I went in. It's a little bit like baby powder and death in much the same way that Country Time is a little bit like real lemonade; it's more chemical-y, and you would really prefer the real thing if you were given the choice. It makes the air taste even worse than it smells.

I accidentally inhaled. Now my lungs burn and I'm suppressing my desire to pull out my own tongue.

Seriously? I'd rather smell your poo. There is nothing you can do in there that is worse than the spray, and that includes the horror that caused us to flee the Hotel Azteca in Matamoros.

8 comments:

BeckEye said...

Baby powder and death. If I were the type to "LOL" I would. But I'm not. So just know that I am laughing. Out loud. But I'm not ROTF'ing or PMP'ing.

We had an air freshener in an old office of mine that smelled like that cherry-flavored numbing shit you get at the dentist tastes. I hated that.

Dale said...

I second the hilarity of 'baby powder and death'. I was mentioning the 'taste' of some of those air sprays to someone and they refused to understand what I was talking about. 'You can't taste them, you smell them!' I'll forward your post perhaps.

Elizabeth said...

The stuff we have at work is like baby powder, but I'll take that over what we used to use any day. It was a scent called vanilla caramel. There's nothing quite like walking in to the restroom and being hit with the scent of vanilla caramel poo. For a while it ruined my craving for fancy coffee.

Johnny Yen said...

"the horror that caused us to flee the Hotel Azteca in Matamoros."

Is that the "You and Andreas and Isabel drunk and on the road in Mexico" story? I can never remember the specifics-- I'm always drunk when I hear it. And you're always drunk when you tell it. And you guys were drunk when it happened. There are certain themes that run through our lives, aren't there?

Flannery Alden said...

I'd prefer baby powder and death fragrance over the ominous feet and death fragrance that overcomes one in our mail room.

deadspot said...

Really? This is the post that gets comments?

I love that cherry stuff, Becks, but you can only eat so much of if before you can't taste it any more, and then you drool on your shoes.

By the way, Top Chef tonight.

Please do, Dale. I was ready to claw my tastebuds off yesterday, and the taste didn't really go away for over an hour. Did you notice that the link listed the air freshener as a pesticide? Mmm! ...tastes like crop dusting.

"Vanilla caramel poo" reminded me of a commercial, E. Youtube let me down, so I'll have to provide a transcript from memory:

Obnoxious Kid: *wrinkles nose* "Ooh! It smells like fiiiiish!"

Mother: *sprays competitor's air freshener*

Obnoxious Kid: "Now it smells like fish and roses!

I think the mother may have beaten him with the spray can at that point, I don't recall exactly. In any case, suffice it to say that after the first airing of that commercial, "shit and roses!" became a catchphrase around our house.

That was a long response for such a small payoff... I apologize.

I wouldn't say it is the "Andreas and Isabel and I drunk and on the road in Mexico" story, Johnny, but it is certainly an "Andreas and Isabel and I drunk and on the road in Mexico" story. I think Andreas is the one who usually tells it, but I may have to post it, because there's a funny epilogue to the story that Andreas missed because he was busy enjoying the plumbing at a Brownsville La Quinta.

Death and feet? Flan, if we share a mail room, you should really stop by my office more often.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Wow! A lot of people have something to say about bathroom air fresheners, Mr. D!

Ours smells like cinnamon, I guess. I think it's an attempt at the whole "country spice" genre of smells, like I'm supposed to believe that someone's been baking apple pies in the company shithole.

deadspot said...

I would think that bathroom pie would be some kind of health code violation...

Speaking of cooking did you see Top Chef last night? As Keanu Reeves would say, "Whoah."