Thursday, March 15, 2007

Death is Not an Option

Flannery made me do it.

1. Batman or Superman?
Batman. Superman is boredom in a can.

2. Sammy Hagar or David Lee Roth?
David Lee Roth. Van Halen > Van Hagar

3. Freud or Jung?
Freud. Doctor Frood was in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, and he has a nifty bobblehead.

4. The Stones or The Who?
If I'm in the middle of a radio wasteland and the only option is a classic rock station, I'd rather they play The Who.

5. Rita Skeeter or Bridget Jones?
Rita Skeeter. Nothing against Renee Zellwhatsit, but I love Miranda Richardson.

6. Peanut Butter or Baked Beans?
I'll take my alternative protein in the form of baked beans. Preferably next to a plate of ribs and some potato salad.

7. Hawkeye or Dr. Cox?
Dr. Cox. Scrubs so owns MASH.

8. Rick Blaine or Victor Laszlo?
This is sad. I read this and thought "Who?". In my defense, I was thrown off by David Blaine.

9. Cats or Dogs?
Cats. Dogs are stupid and subservient. They can't even poop without your help.

10. Bluegrass or Honkey-Tonk?
Country music is the musical equivalent of Vogon poetry. If my intestines won't do the right thing and strangle me, I would have to grudgingly prefer bluegrass.

11. Tatoos or Ties?

12. Buster Keaton or Charlie Chaplin?
Buster Keaton.

13. Word or Excel?
Excel. Word always thinks it knows what I want to do, and it's always wrong.

14. Riker or Kirk?
Riker, but shouldn't this be Picard or Kirk?

15. Janice Dickensen or Paula Abdul?
Since I'm assuming this is asking which one I've heard of, I'll go with Paula Abdul. You know, she danced with a cartoon cat. Didn't she?

16. Dianetics or Objectivisim?
Dianetics, but only because of its connection to Robert Heinlein, and because it has more entertaining crazy celebrity followers.

17. Dollywood or Kennywood?
Are you absolutely sure death is not an option?

18. Rivers or Oceans?
Oceans. Trivia for the day: I learned to surf at Waikiki Beach, and by "surf", I mean "get up on the board and stay up long enough to ride gentle waves without running over small children".

19. Toe-tappin' or Knee-slappin'?
I have no idea what this question means.

20. Wallpaper or paint.
Paint, as long as it is low-VOC, thank you very much.

Oh, right... Tag, you're it.


Flannery Alden said...

"Riker, but shouldn't this be Picard or Kirk?"

Riker is ST:TNG's Kirk equivalent. He leads the away teams, he has a temper, he gets the babes. Picard is more of an administrator.

I'm totally with you on 13 & 16!

Johnny Yen said...

Didn't know who Rick Blaine and Victor Laszlo? You have never seen "Casablanca?"

If you didn't like Repo Man as much as I do, I'd have to reconsider our friendship.

Word or Excel? The answer's easy-- Appleworks.

BeckEye said...

Is there a Kennywood, as in Kenny Rogers' Theme park? That's odd, because the REAL Kennywood is in Pittsburgh. I miss it. Kenny Rogers thinks because he slapped his name on a bucket of fried chicken that everything is fair game? I'll rip his new, stretched and botoxed head right off.

deadspot said...

flannery: Ah, gotcha. That makes sense.

johnny: I've seen it... once. Like I said, I was thinking of David Blaine, so I didn't make the connection.

Appleworks crushes Office. Like I always tell people "I use a PC at work. That's why I own a Mac."

beckeye: Oops. You're right, the Kennywood in Pittsburg is the Kennywood she linked to. I just assumed from the context that it was a Kenny Rogers theme park.

In that case, I choose Kennywood. Of course, if the choice were "Dollywood or a sharp stick in the eye?" I'd probably have to go with the stick.

Writeprocrastinator said...

What the hell happened to M.C. Skat Cat and will Paula have him replace Simon Cow-head?

Yeah, I thought it should be Picard too, though Flannery does have a point. You two have changed my opinion. Picard got the space ladies, while only having to get his head beaten half as much as Kirk did.

deadspot said...

Also, wp, Patrick Stewart's monologue on SNL where he pretended to know nothing at all about Star Trek was screamingly funny.

Flannery Alden said...

Did I just go colorblind, deadspot? Where's all the green?

deadspot said...

Everybody else is green today, Flannery, so I thought I'd go gray instead. I'll probably blog about it later.

Flannery Alden said...

I'll add "non-conformist" to the every-lengthening list of deadspot's qualities.

Dale said...

That SNL monologue is hilarious! Thanks Mister.

deadspot said...

It's too bad I couldn't find it on youtube. It's even funnier if you see it. His delivery was perfect. He was so enthusiastic and blissfully unaware that he was completely wrong about everything. The way he said "cold volcano logic" just killed me.