Thursday, May 24, 2007

Recapping Tonight's Top Stories

McDonald's, unsatisfied with its role as a purveyor of fried meat products, has taken the next step in trying to become an arbiter of the English language by circulating a petition. Next up: angry letters to the editor, wearing their pants up around their armpits, and pissing and moaning at the city council meetings about the kids cutting across their lawn.

His Royal Highness, the Second Lieutenant, will not be on IED patrol in Iraq after all because, as it turns out, Iraq is a dangerous place. He has graciously decided not to quit the Army. British soldiers across Iraq immediately began calculating their place in the line of succession.

Democrats have already forgotten why they were elected.

People in the deep south are worried about "stealth racism", which is nice, now that they've eliminated the regular old "overt, right out in the open racism".

And last, but not least...

Mad Monkey Mauls Mopeds (OK, so it's an ape, not a monkey, but I only got as far as "Angry Ape Assaults" before I got stuck.)

6 comments:

Johnny Yen said...

That's rich-- pass a petition about changing the word, rather than making their jobs less "McJobish."

Maybe they can have people who use the word found guilty of "thought crime."

BeckEye said...

I think Johnny Yen took the McWords right out of my McMouth.

Is it just me or does everyone suddenly have a desire to watch Grey's Anatomy now?

Doc said...

His Royal Highness, the Second Lieutenant, will not be on IED patrol in Iraq. I thought it said IUD, and I wondered why he was looking for a banned form of birth control. My bad.

Doc

deadspot said...

Johnny, Becks, maybe if the McExecutives had more fulfilling jobs they wouldn't want to work for the OED.

Actually, doc, I wouldn't rule that out...

Big Orange (a.k.a. "Uncle Moonpie") said...

You know, there's a reason I am catastrophically ignorant of the goings on 'round th' world: it only depresses me...

Writeprocrastinator said...

Yeah, I was laughing at whom I believe was Rep. George Miller (I was typing at the time and only heard the soundbite) when he said that the Repubs "would probably capitulate in December." They can't see this for the cluster-F that it is now, why would they find enlightenment seven months from now?

As far as the "stealth racism?" It is not exclusive to the South or remote areas such as Idaho and Montana. There are patches and enclaves everywhere. A certain infamous organization still had overt branches all over California, not too long ago.