It's All About Me, Baby!

It's contagious. I've been bitten by the interview meme. When I mentioned what hard work it all seemed, two of my favorite bloggers actually asked for the chance to interview me. Because I'm such an accommodating person (Stop that! I am so.) I said yes. Here is the first of those interviews. Dale managed to squeeze in nine questions and a bonus, despite using only 5 numbers. I think he used some kind of Canadian math. Because I never know when to stop writing, or at least when to stop equivocating, I reciprocated by squeezing in multiple answers to his questions. The veil of secrecy will never be the same again.

1. As it turns out, Johnny Yen was right, he encouraged you to blog on the basis that you're smart and funny and we saw that it was so. Flannery Alden was also right: you don't seem to be annoying. These are admirable traits in a blogger. What's your reaction to our reaction to you? Are you enjoying the experience or do you find it tough coming up with 'material'?

Thanks. Johnny sets the blogging bar pretty high, so I usually have to treat it like a limbo stick... it’s so much easier than trying to go over it.

I feel pretty lucky that I found kindred spirits so quickly. If I didn’t have such great readers, this wouldn’t be nearly so much fun. Awwww... group hug!

I don’t usually have a problem coming up with material. On any given day, somebody somewhere has probably done or said something dumb. What I usually have trouble with is coming up with material that will interest someone besides me. I think I need to start putting some of my half-formed (half-baked?) ideas into my edit space. I have several ideas that I’ve been kicking around for a while, but I never seem to remember them until after I’ve posted about something else.

2. Your affinity is showing Deadspot. If you could appear as a character on one of your favourite British shows, which show would it be and what form would you take? Are you good at accents?

I’d like to appear in an episode of the Avengers in a bit part as Diana Rigg’s leather catsuit. However, because of the technical issues involved in getting me back to 1965, I think I’m slightly more likely to be cast as Jeffrey’s cousin on Coupling (The British version, of course, not the wretched American one). I’m torn. My inner geek wants me to pick Doctor Who, not only because I love the show, but also because Catherine Tate is so great. However, as much as I love the new incarnation of the series, I think I might have to take a role on Spaced if they were both offered.

I’d like to think that I’m good at accents. We read a lot of the Harry Potter books on family vacations, and I did most of the reading aloud on long car trips, in part because I could do different voices for all of the characters. Once the movies came out, it was a little odd because we suddenly had a frame of reference, but I do a pretty good Snape, if I do say so myself. ...and I just did.

3. Like the children of some of my favourite bloggers, yours seem to be funny, smart and so not ready for the sweatshop. Would you care to share any special moments that have made you so proud you could burst?

My kids set a pretty high standard for themselves. They’re smart, compassionate, funny lefties. I think they’re going to turn out to be pretty good people. Against that background level of greatness, it's hard to pick out individual favorite moments, but here are two: I think I was the most proud when my teenage daughter decided that I was the less-embarrassing parent. Frankly, nobody was more surprised than I was. A close second would be when my son asked if he might grow up to be like me and my friend Justin. He asked with enthusiasm, rather than the horror and dread I would have expected to accompany that question.

4. William S. Burroughs said it, Laurie Anderson sang it and you typed it: Language is a virus. Because you hate talking on the phone, do you ever find yourself just phoning it in? Have you ever had to give a speech to a large group and how did it go?

I much prefer phoning it in to actually phoning, given the option.

I think the biggest group before which I've spoken was at an anti-nuke concert/rally on the south quad at EIU. It was a pretty big deal. We had bands playing sets all day with speakers in between, and there were hundreds of people on the quad. One of our speakers failed to show up at the appointed hour, and as the band started their last song, I was tapped to fill in for the missing speaker. I had to come up with something on the spot to kill 5 or 10 minutes while the bands swapped equipment. Luckily, we’d started drinking early. I think it went fairly well, all things considered. The headlining speaker had just been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize; so speaking on the same stage was pretty cool... for me. Less so for him, I’m guessing.

5. Who would you want to play you in the film of your blog? And who would they cast despite your protestations?

After I suggest a Tim Burton/Danny Elfman claymation feature, they’ll come back with Don Bluth/Randy Newman. When I’m done recoiling in horror, we’ll remember my language and subject matter, and abandon the idea of animation altogether.

I’ll lobby hard for John Cusack. I’ve liked everything I’ve ever seen him in, and I approve of his liberal politics and his excellent taste in music. Also, if I were to shave and maybe comb my hair, I would look a little bit like him in the same way that your friends who think they look like a movie star sort of vaguely resemble them if it’s dark enough and you squint just the right way. The studio will thank me for my input and cast Tobey Macguire because they want a big opening weekend. Whores.

Bonus question:

You seem to like to advocate for worthy causes such as doubling Saturdays and banning Mondays, ensuring we all know James Cameron is a loon, highlighting the ridiculousness of life on many fronts and yet you've still found time to blame me twice for things. Are there plans for any additional blaming? I am available for a broad range of blaming topics.

The blame tag is merely on hiatus; it hasn’t been retired. I’m sure it will show up when you least expect it. After all, blame is a dish best dumped in the lap of the completely unsuspecting. Of course, now that you’ve mentioned it, I can’t use it for this post. Curses! Foiled again!